This was entertaining, cute and horrendously depresssing.
Despite being transmasculine, as oppossed to the mc transfeminine, reading this story made me reflect on my own past with regards to dysphoria and mental health.
I don't know how else to say it, but the frankness that the mc talks to herself; her dysphoria and self image, intrusive thoughts, effects of manipulation, suicidal idealation and pure self-hatred, feels like they were plucked straight from my brain (hah) and into the narrative. Its pretty scary seeing your own issues reflected back at you, even if they haven't effected you for a long time.
Please, your writing and art is incredible. Keep doing what you do!
Incredibly well written and drawn game. Lures you in with sexy mad science and then goes an incredibly dark and thought-provoking direction with it. As a person with gender identity dysphoria I could relate heavily to the main character and their struggle with their body & mind. Amazing ambient OST, Beautiful work!
This was amazing. One of your friends recommended me this and I'm very impressed at how you capture the existential crisis of the main character and the increasing mistrust of the professor.
Also just wanna let you know I was eating noodles when I got to the ending, I'm okay but thought it'd be funny to tell you. 😂
I keep trying to write a review and I keep deleting it as I don't think I have the words to really express what I want to. Suffice to say, I've never felt more sick from a work I've enjoyed so much. 5 Stars, easily
I can't properly put into words how awful this game makes me feel. I'm glad the game tackles what it does as it's rarely addressed. The storytelling and the message are so sad and relatable that I was on my knees praying for a happy ending yet I was met with horrifying sadness. 10/10
A lot of trans media fails to capture what this VN manages to depict so effectively. We tend to focus on what trans bodies are -supposed- to look like, to the point where a lot of trans women and men internalize these ideas as goals they need to strive for. It doesn't matter if it's truly what they want, or if it's realistic, the "privilege" of their identity being respected hinges on these factors. Because some people just plainly suck or don't know any better.
Early into my journey I was enamored by submission, because it was only when I acted like this that I would be treated in the way I wanted to. It resulted in me frequently being taken advantage of and hurt, and being beset with expectations and desires that weren't my own.
It took me years to come to terms with who I wanted to be, finally deciding to start transitioning when what womanhood means to me fully crystalized.
I can see a lot of this process reflected back at me in this story, terrible abuse interspersed with happy moments that make you forget, if only for a day or two.
Being told what to like, how to look, how to behave, what to do; it has a sickening comfort to it that can become addicting. It's dangerous to give your own journey over to someone else, their whims and preferences are anything but yours.
To cap off this "review", it made me think about the voice training I plan to start soon. Despite being on hrt for over 2 years my voice seems to remain a large barrier towards being gendered correctly.
I personally don't mind my voice, never have and probably never will. This will likely be another thing in my transition I'm doing for the sake of others, rather than myself. It's important to reflect on these instances, to weigh the pros and cons, and make sure it's my own choice.
I think I will be doing this voice training regardless, but atleast I'll be confident in the fact that I chose for it, and relish the ability to still whip out my masc voice whenever I deem it to be useful or funny.
I found myself with my mouth open for a lot of this. There's a lot that felt so so relatable, so painful. The art and music were wonderful as well. I'm really glad I read this, I think it's my favorite vncup entry. Looking forward to any future projects by Chambersoft.
I can’t leave a review on mobile, or at least don’t know how, but rest assured I will leave a 5 star later today. Regardless despite not being Transfem exactly, this really hit close to home. The struggle that Pan/Nikki felt about how to be herself, the difficulty of feeling at home in what is supposed to be “your body.” I absolutely loved this. I also really enjoyed the character of Amy. I love her depth in being both a helpful figure and a terrible one.
This was wonderful. These two poor girls were just trying their best to be happy with each other. It's so sad that Nikki was convinced that she would never be happy in her body, so much so that she would have Amy do that to her. Everything falling apart was inevitable amplified by the fact that both of them just wanted the best for the other, despite the fact that doing so just made the other worse. They accidentally tore each other apart. I'm definitely tearing up over the whole thing. Amazing work, thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I want to eat. I do. I don't see the maturity others see in me, i don't understand myselves more than surface level, we know scant little moderation. and we're hungry for something. The way she can never learn what she wanted before, what she agreed to... that's gorgeously written. thank you. sorry for leaving this comment while tired and vaguely dissociative. both are not at all the fault of the game, simply states we exist in at this moment in time.
oh, where do i start? incredibly and honestly written. terribly relatable, in the most complimentary way possible. i've had admittedly too many relationships where i was in positions similar to pan's- sometimes caretaker, sometimes sex toy, sometimes both. the way pan's feelings progress, blind devotion to subtle discomfort to resentment and weariness, is just. god. having your identity shaped by someone else and coming to realize that you miss who you used to be and remembering her and loving her but never fully being able to get back to her. feeling tethered to someone, physically and emotionally, while at the same time feeling so distant. the way that we project our insecurities and hurt each other in the process- "you'll finally be a real girl!" being taken away from the rest of the world, having kindness and affection doled out just frequently enough to keep you from leaving. fuck. this game ripped my fucking heart out and ate it. thank you so much for making it.
Loved this. Deeply painful dysphoria and isolation/dependence and denial all the more painful for being wrapped inexorably in / part of the super cute robo dolly loyal maid scenario. Really really appreciated the portrayal / framing of the dysphoria of existing in a body that isn't your own, and how pervasive that disconnect is.
Devastating and beautiful. A horrifying look into letting somebody else define you, this story uses it's relationship story to explore intimacy and gender while keeping a sharp focus on the feelings involved.
Nothing I could really say that any of the other reviews hadn't. Helped me come to terms with my own lingering trauma as an abuse survivor, all wrapped up in a dark nuanced look at two fantasies I think many of us have. Truly a masterpiece. You will cry.
It's hard to gather my thoughts into words, even after a few days, without a million of them spilling out of me, a big mess, but I want to try:
I am a survivor of intimate partner abuse, victim to another woman, another trans person. My story is ugly, weird, complicated; everyone averts their eyes. But Absolutely Perfect Specimen doesn't look away. I cried and cried after reading it, feeling seen. That unique dynamic. Finally feeling understood, legs tangled, pretty kisses, her jagged edges cutting into you deep, hearts so full of love and pain and need you can't see it, can't face it. The little things, sweet and cruel, teaspoons of sugar masking the bitter that makes you sicker every day. The soul-splintering anguish of leaving, the weight of these memories, these scars. Doing anything to be free. APS sees me, and it sees me with kindness, with empathy, but not the pity that makes my stomach burn. With honesty, not the avoidance that makes me sick with shame -- eyes open, all of what I've been through that no one wants to see. And I didn't realize how bad I needed that.
i think there's something really good in seeing a personal fantasy thrown back at you in the shoes of someone who else who does not share the same view, it's really good. the relationship tug of war nightmare is going to sit in my mind forever i think. thank you for making it
I think I was too raw when I wrote my first review, and I'd like to try again.
As someone who is not only intersex but has also been on the receiving end of abuse, SA, invalidation, and gaslighting, I think this game hit a lot more personally than I wanted it to, heh, but I'd say that's a credit in its favor.
I do have conflicted feelings, but I don't think it's any fault of the writing. I rate the artistry, presentation, pacing, and atmosphere very highly.
I never expected anything on here to hit like that, and I wasn't ready for it. I've had plenty of things touch on personal traumas, but something about your approach is just...different.
Truth is, your writing is pretty brutally amazing, and I look forward to more.
This absolutely rocked- the writing was raw, the imagery was visceral, there was a pervasive sense of discomfort that slowly escalated throughout the whole thing. I love it.
read this yesterday & really enjoyed it, the push and pull of the two's relationship and the growing realization that something has to give at some point but that point never coming till its much too late is done heart-wrenchingly well. loved the direction it goes in regards to depicting dysphoria and the overall message associated, great job on this
I've been looking forward to this novel's release for months now, and the end product absolutely blew me away. One of the most visceral narratives I've ever experienced, APS is both deeply touching and personal as well as harrowingly gruesome and depraved.
The story's themes are hard-hitting and explored in fascinating, layered detail, delving into messy intersections of dysphoria, depersonalization and abuse with bleak yet refreshing candor. These themes are complemented greatly by the story's masterful pacing, a thrillingly uncomfortable tonal tug-of-war between the euphoric highs and desolate lows of its emotional arc that builds wonderfully to an unforgettable finale. And all of this is supported by the novel's outstanding, expressive art and its marvelously evocative soundtrack.
A grisly, painful narrative through and through, APS is an absolute gem of a story that's sure to resonate deeply with many who read it. To anyone who can stomach its dark subject matter, I can't recommend it enough.
A story about identity that keeps you wondering how it will turn out in the end, what it means to be you, who you are. Or what you're expected to be.
From the wonderful illustrations, to the backing music and well-written dialogue to bring you an experience that is 90 minutes long if read aloud, and most definitely worth your time.
With moments of horror and sci-fi sprinkled through-out, through calm and quiet tranquil moments to the puss-sputtered end of the mind, this story will leave you thinking one thing:
"Man I'm fucking hungry."
Admittedly did cry near the end, and even recorded the whole reading session from start to finish in one go, a tale worth the read, and worth the money if you so choose.
Bravo to both Lilith and Gwen both for this production.
Fans of sci-fi and creepy horror will dig this one! The writing is pretty damn good and the music accompanies the story well too. Runtime is about an hour, and definitely makes the best of it.
Equally gut-wrenching as it is cathartic, Absolutely Perfect Specimen resonated with me in so many uncannily familiar ways I don't think I've ever quite seen before. So much of the events and inner mechanisms of its character writing and development hitting so close to home, coupled with the brilliant art direction and music that perfectly complements each and every single emotional beat all culminates in one of the most memorable visual novel experiences I've ever had. I can't recommend it enough for fans of surreal horror, the inherent vulnerability in queer relationships, or anyone just looking for something out of the ordinary.
I'm going to be thinking and stirring on this one for a real long while.
Oh my gosh. My thoughts and my heartrate were running laps chasing each other. A beautiful vivisection of the real and unreal roles we play in a relationship, out of fun and out of true caring, to tear each other down in order to build each other up in order to tear each other down. Very well done.
I've never seen anything capture what being in a toxic relationship feels like quite like APS. Pan is such a relatable and sympathetic trans portrayal. The messy trans yuri I've been waiting for!
Played this in a dark room at three in the morning.
So beautiful, so fragile and haunting. The dusty melody of a dying record player, the crumbling imitation of perfection. Knowing your body isn't yours and fighting it and bleeding out of it. The feeling of being so small and helpless and drifting through days in a blur. Your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you lay awake drenched in sweat.
I took my time through reading this as I really felt so much attention to detail in both the visuals and the writing were admirable, and I really want to make it clear how polished this is. The experiences of the main character really brought a ton of tears to my eyes, at many points throughout the story, and I will definitely have this game as a important memory. The music also lead this to have a humongous impact on its emotional merit. This visual novel is unique, raw, heart wrenching and beautiful. My only major critique if any at all, is I do agree this game needs some content warnings, as I personally had to take breaks, it does get heavy content-wise. Amazing work!
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I'm glad i experienced it, but it hurts so much
gave me a headache and i kept saying "oh my god" like for a whole minute after i finished it. raw, disgusting, horrible and true
This was entertaining, cute and horrendously depresssing.
Despite being transmasculine, as oppossed to the mc transfeminine, reading this story made me reflect on my own past with regards to dysphoria and mental health.
I don't know how else to say it, but the frankness that the mc talks to herself; her dysphoria and self image, intrusive thoughts, effects of manipulation, suicidal idealation and pure self-hatred, feels like they were plucked straight from my brain (hah) and into the narrative. Its pretty scary seeing your own issues reflected back at you, even if they haven't effected you for a long time.
Please, your writing and art is incredible. Keep doing what you do!
Incredibly well written and drawn game. Lures you in with sexy mad science and then goes an incredibly dark and thought-provoking direction with it. As a person with gender identity dysphoria I could relate heavily to the main character and their struggle with their body & mind. Amazing ambient OST, Beautiful work!
As someone who has suffered from severe dysphoria, intense self-hatred, other gender maladies:
This game is practically scripture to me.
Thank you.
This was amazing. One of your friends recommended me this and I'm very impressed at how you capture the existential crisis of the main character and the increasing mistrust of the professor.
Also just wanna let you know I was eating noodles when I got to the ending, I'm okay but thought it'd be funny to tell you. 😂
I keep trying to write a review and I keep deleting it as I don't think I have the words to really express what I want to. Suffice to say, I've never felt more sick from a work I've enjoyed so much. 5 Stars, easily
I can't properly put into words how awful this game makes me feel. I'm glad the game tackles what it does as it's rarely addressed. The storytelling and the message are so sad and relatable that I was on my knees praying for a happy ending yet I was met with horrifying sadness. 10/10
weeping sobbing crying throwing up rn
(crossposted from my original Backloggd review)
A lot of trans media fails to capture what this VN manages to depict so effectively. We tend to focus on what trans bodies are -supposed- to look like, to the point where a lot of trans women and men internalize these ideas as goals they need to strive for. It doesn't matter if it's truly what they want, or if it's realistic, the "privilege" of their identity being respected hinges on these factors. Because some people just plainly suck or don't know any better.
Early into my journey I was enamored by submission, because it was only when I acted like this that I would be treated in the way I wanted to. It resulted in me frequently being taken advantage of and hurt, and being beset with expectations and desires that weren't my own.
It took me years to come to terms with who I wanted to be, finally deciding to start transitioning when what womanhood means to me fully crystalized.
I can see a lot of this process reflected back at me in this story, terrible abuse interspersed with happy moments that make you forget, if only for a day or two.
Being told what to like, how to look, how to behave, what to do; it has a sickening comfort to it that can become addicting. It's dangerous to give your own journey over to someone else, their whims and preferences are anything but yours.
To cap off this "review", it made me think about the voice training I plan to start soon. Despite being on hrt for over 2 years my voice seems to remain a large barrier towards being gendered correctly.
I personally don't mind my voice, never have and probably never will. This will likely be another thing in my transition I'm doing for the sake of others, rather than myself. It's important to reflect on these instances, to weigh the pros and cons, and make sure it's my own choice.
I think I will be doing this voice training regardless, but atleast I'll be confident in the fact that I chose for it, and relish the ability to still whip out my masc voice whenever I deem it to be useful or funny.
I feel mostly the same way. I quite like my voice but I still want to change it because others wouldn't see me as a girl if I kept my voice.
I found myself with my mouth open for a lot of this. There's a lot that felt so so relatable, so painful. The art and music were wonderful as well. I'm really glad I read this, I think it's my favorite vncup entry. Looking forward to any future projects by Chambersoft.
I can’t leave a review on mobile, or at least don’t know how, but rest assured I will leave a 5 star later today. Regardless despite not being Transfem exactly, this really hit close to home. The struggle that Pan/Nikki felt about how to be herself, the difficulty of feeling at home in what is supposed to be “your body.” I absolutely loved this. I also really enjoyed the character of Amy. I love her depth in being both a helpful figure and a terrible one.
This was wonderful. These two poor girls were just trying their best to be happy with each other. It's so sad that Nikki was convinced that she would never be happy in her body, so much so that she would have Amy do that to her. Everything falling apart was inevitable amplified by the fact that both of them just wanted the best for the other, despite the fact that doing so just made the other worse. They accidentally tore each other apart. I'm definitely tearing up over the whole thing. Amazing work, thank you so much for sharing this with us.
I want to eat. I do. I don't see the maturity others see in me, i don't understand myselves more than surface level, we know scant little moderation. and we're hungry for something. The way she can never learn what she wanted before, what she agreed to... that's gorgeously written. thank you. sorry for leaving this comment while tired and vaguely dissociative. both are not at all the fault of the game, simply states we exist in at this moment in time.
This hit like a truck, excellent work
oh, where do i start? incredibly and honestly written. terribly relatable, in the most complimentary way possible. i've had admittedly too many relationships where i was in positions similar to pan's- sometimes caretaker, sometimes sex toy, sometimes both. the way pan's feelings progress, blind devotion to subtle discomfort to resentment and weariness, is just. god. having your identity shaped by someone else and coming to realize that you miss who you used to be and remembering her and loving her but never fully being able to get back to her. feeling tethered to someone, physically and emotionally, while at the same time feeling so distant. the way that we project our insecurities and hurt each other in the process- "you'll finally be a real girl!" being taken away from the rest of the world, having kindness and affection doled out just frequently enough to keep you from leaving. fuck. this game ripped my fucking heart out and ate it. thank you so much for making it.
The modern day Frankenstein I've been waiting to see. Incredible work. Thank you.
Loved this. Deeply painful dysphoria and isolation/dependence and denial all the more painful for being wrapped inexorably in / part of the super cute robo dolly loyal maid scenario. Really really appreciated the portrayal / framing of the dysphoria of existing in a body that isn't your own, and how pervasive that disconnect is.
Devastating and beautiful. A horrifying look into letting somebody else define you, this story uses it's relationship story to explore intimacy and gender while keeping a sharp focus on the feelings involved.
Nothing I could really say that any of the other reviews hadn't. Helped me come to terms with my own lingering trauma as an abuse survivor, all wrapped up in a dark nuanced look at two fantasies I think many of us have. Truly a masterpiece. You will cry.
It's hard to gather my thoughts into words, even after a few days, without a million of them spilling out of me, a big mess, but I want to try:
I am a survivor of intimate partner abuse, victim to another woman, another trans person. My story is ugly, weird, complicated; everyone averts their eyes. But Absolutely Perfect Specimen doesn't look away. I cried and cried after reading it, feeling seen. That unique dynamic. Finally feeling understood, legs tangled, pretty kisses, her jagged edges cutting into you deep, hearts so full of love and pain and need you can't see it, can't face it. The little things, sweet and cruel, teaspoons of sugar masking the bitter that makes you sicker every day. The soul-splintering anguish of leaving, the weight of these memories, these scars. Doing anything to be free. APS sees me, and it sees me with kindness, with empathy, but not the pity that makes my stomach burn. With honesty, not the avoidance that makes me sick with shame -- eyes open, all of what I've been through that no one wants to see. And I didn't realize how bad I needed that.
i think there's something really good in seeing a personal fantasy thrown back at you in the shoes of someone who else who does not share the same view, it's really good. the relationship tug of war nightmare is going to sit in my mind forever i think. thank you for making it
I think I was too raw when I wrote my first review, and I'd like to try again.
As someone who is not only intersex but has also been on the receiving end of abuse, SA, invalidation, and gaslighting, I think this game hit a lot more personally than I wanted it to, heh, but I'd say that's a credit in its favor.
I do have conflicted feelings, but I don't think it's any fault of the writing. I rate the artistry, presentation, pacing, and atmosphere very highly.
I really appreciate the re-review. Truly sorry if the story hit you a little too hard, but I'm glad you could appreciate it nonetheless!
I never expected anything on here to hit like that, and I wasn't ready for it. I've had plenty of things touch on personal traumas, but something about your approach is just...different.
Truth is, your writing is pretty brutally amazing, and I look forward to more.
This absolutely rocked- the writing was raw, the imagery was visceral, there was a pervasive sense of discomfort that slowly escalated throughout the whole thing. I love it.
I wasn't expecting this story to go the way it did, but it was amazing. It was a very unsettling and creepy in a way.
Actually floored by this visual novel. Fantastic pacing. Fantastic writing.
A beautiful, horrifying tale - this is the yuri I crave. Thank you for making this.
read this yesterday & really enjoyed it, the push and pull of the two's relationship and the growing realization that something has to give at some point but that point never coming till its much too late is done heart-wrenchingly well. loved the direction it goes in regards to depicting dysphoria and the overall message associated, great job on this
so good
dont think i can put it into words better than someone else already has here but this one is just yes. yes.. yes. thank you for making it
I've been looking forward to this novel's release for months now, and the end product absolutely blew me away. One of the most visceral narratives I've ever experienced, APS is both deeply touching and personal as well as harrowingly gruesome and depraved.
The story's themes are hard-hitting and explored in fascinating, layered detail, delving into messy intersections of dysphoria, depersonalization and abuse with bleak yet refreshing candor. These themes are complemented greatly by the story's masterful pacing, a thrillingly uncomfortable tonal tug-of-war between the euphoric highs and desolate lows of its emotional arc that builds wonderfully to an unforgettable finale. And all of this is supported by the novel's outstanding, expressive art and its marvelously evocative soundtrack. A grisly, painful narrative through and through, APS is an absolute gem of a story that's sure to resonate deeply with many who read it. To anyone who can stomach its dark subject matter, I can't recommend it enough.
A story about identity that keeps you wondering how it will turn out in the end, what it means to be you, who you are. Or what you're expected to be.
From the wonderful illustrations, to the backing music and well-written dialogue to bring you an experience that is 90 minutes long if read aloud, and most definitely worth your time.
With moments of horror and sci-fi sprinkled through-out, through calm and quiet tranquil moments to the puss-sputtered end of the mind, this story will leave you thinking one thing:
"Man I'm fucking hungry."
Admittedly did cry near the end, and even recorded the whole reading session from start to finish in one go, a tale worth the read, and worth the money if you so choose.
Bravo to both Lilith and Gwen both for this production.
This game ruined me and spoke to me in a way that makes me shiver with fear, absolutely amazing storytelling and a big recommend!
Fans of sci-fi and creepy horror will dig this one! The writing is pretty damn good and the music accompanies the story well too. Runtime is about an hour, and definitely makes the best of it.
Bravo!
Equally gut-wrenching as it is cathartic, Absolutely Perfect Specimen resonated with me in so many uncannily familiar ways I don't think I've ever quite seen before. So much of the events and inner mechanisms of its character writing and development hitting so close to home, coupled with the brilliant art direction and music that perfectly complements each and every single emotional beat all culminates in one of the most memorable visual novel experiences I've ever had. I can't recommend it enough for fans of surreal horror, the inherent vulnerability in queer relationships, or anyone just looking for something out of the ordinary.
I'm going to be thinking and stirring on this one for a real long while.
Aaah.
AAaaahh.
AAAGGGHHH.
Oh my gosh. My thoughts and my heartrate were running laps chasing each other. A beautiful vivisection of the real and unreal roles we play in a relationship, out of fun and out of true caring, to tear each other down in order to build each other up in order to tear each other down. Very well done.
I've never seen anything capture what being in a toxic relationship feels like quite like APS. Pan is such a relatable and sympathetic trans portrayal. The messy trans yuri I've been waiting for!
Played this in a dark room at three in the morning.
So beautiful, so fragile and haunting. The dusty melody of a dying record player, the crumbling imitation of perfection. Knowing your body isn't yours and fighting it and bleeding out of it. The feeling of being so small and helpless and drifting through days in a blur. Your heartbeat pounding in your ears as you lay awake drenched in sweat.
It's all so familiar.
I took my time through reading this as I really felt so much attention to detail in both the visuals and the writing were admirable, and I really want to make it clear how polished this is. The experiences of the main character really brought a ton of tears to my eyes, at many points throughout the story, and I will definitely have this game as a important memory. The music also lead this to have a humongous impact on its emotional merit. This visual novel is unique, raw, heart wrenching and beautiful.
My only major critique if any at all, is I do agree this game needs some content warnings, as I personally had to take breaks, it does get heavy content-wise. Amazing work!